You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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