I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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