When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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