Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
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Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
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Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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