i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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