I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize