I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Randomize