Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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