you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
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And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
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The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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