i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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