with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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