sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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