What did we do last night that was yellow?
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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