seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize