I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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