I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize