Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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