Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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