Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
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