My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
my sisters under your porch take her home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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