school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
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Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
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Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
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