So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
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