Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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