After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Ketchup is God's man juice
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize