Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
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You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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