Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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