Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
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tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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