# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize