I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
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Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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