I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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