Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize