My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize