just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize