I can tuck mytits in my pants
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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