Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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