He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
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