You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
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I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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