I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
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He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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