I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize