He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
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No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
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We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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