I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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