wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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