I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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