she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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