I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Randomize