If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
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