if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize