is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Randomize