I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize