my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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